The big "What If"

What if...
I never found yoga?
What if...
I never found a way in?
What if...
I avoided my life? And tried to sweep away the pain without experiencing it?

I am asking these questions because I just heard about an acquaintance who died, due to taking too many medications that were prescribed. It seems like we were very similar. We both had anxiety and IBS. We lived in the same place, in the same time. Yet I was so lucky to have found yoga. I found a way to cope with the issues I was having. I have no idea why I was so lucky. It seems like the symptoms that yoga helped me with really were not the reason why I stayed with the practice of yoga, and why I became a teacher. There is a deeper connection through the practice, to myself, to my subconscious mind and I found some sort of satisfaction in that. But what if I was given synthetic solutions for all of my issues? If my anxiety was controlled by the yellow pill, it may have masked the symptoms, but then the issue might have come through my physical body as pain. And then I might have been given a green pill. Hearing the details of this tragic experience, I wonder if maybe we are collectively working too hard to avoid all pain? What are we avoiding so that we can appear to be "normal" for the time being? But what underlying issues are we avoiding dealing with, when we try to mask what are bodies are telling us?

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